Peter knew that he was oldest. Normally that would have settled the question, not to mention he was a major partner in his father's fishing business. But Levi was definitely better educated, and had a lot of experience taking command of difficult situations. Simon the Zealot was just so sure he knew where Jesus was headed with all this, and that the Messiah would surely need his deep political experience. And so on, with each candidate supported by at least one other.
The question was never quite settled, and the argument rose every time Jesus said or did anything indicating someone should take charge of a situation. Bitter feelings were aroused each time, and got in the way of what they were doing, or what Jesus was teaching. Most of the time, Jesus would make a simple sharp comment to keep things moving, or tell another cryptic parable. Sometimes He just seemed to ignore the whole thing.
He could have settled it with just one word, saying whom it should be. They never could get Him involved in the debate. Of course, once in awhile something He said was used as ammunition in the debate, but He always countered it. Why couldn't He just settle it? Everyone would be better off...
Every parent of more than one child, every school teacher, every one who has ever babysat, or anyone ever having some form of responsibility for young children has faced it: the dreaded petty feuding. It's never over anything that really matters, it's always at the wrong time, and it makes everyone's day worse.
Given that few humans ever actually reach emotional adulthood, every leader has to deal with this sooner or later. Our modern culture works hard to inculcate a certain amount of that. People who are in some ways childish are more likely to demand and buy the next new toy, the next new movie, the next CD by some favorite artist, the next generation of home entertainment, the next software upgrade, etc.
First of all, our Christian faith condemns such shallow living. All things that we can own here on earth are but tools, and they had most certainly better be tools for promoting Jesus, or they are sinful by definition. Anything He can't use in our lives is to be tossed aside as so much excess baggage. We call that "living by faith," and it is hardly something unique to leadership. It's something to which every believer is obliged. Further, what is trash in one servant's life may be just the thing another needs to serve Him. Don't be too quick to judge another on that (Romans 14:10-13).
Those of use who lead had best come to terms with a lot of this before we ever undertake leadership. We who are responsible for keeping the group on mission (the goal), and on task (the method), can't afford to be weighed down by such petty concerns. Nor can we allow the members of our groups to become too focused on these things, either. We would be wise to prepare for it, given that wisdom includes a great deal of knowledge about human nature.
First, you must decide when it really is tolerable, and when it is not. There have been times while leading where I'd simply ignore the "but..." and keep them too busy to let it hinder things. If you can, this is the best way to handle it. Some things within the group are beneath your notice.
Often, though, things will actually interfere for everyone. Then, you have to decide if the problem is "yours" or "ours." If it is "yours" -- someone's personal problem -- then they must be reminded of that. If it is "ours" -- it affects everyone -- it must be dealt with in a redemptive manner. That may vary from simply putting out the fire, a sort of "there, there, let me make it better," or it may require a long sit-down conference with everyone, making them solve it together. The good creative leader will be able to match solution to need, and the mechanics are not a part of this lesson.
All too often the feelings engaged are just too strong to safely handle. Keep in mind the possibility you will have to sideline one or more people. We already know that emotions have their own agenda, and seldom respond to reason -- all the more so as maturity decreases. What must be taught and shown by example is feelings are not supposed to get a vote. Leaders seldom act on their feelings alone. Emotions cannot be trusted to inform, only to flavor the experiences we choose. We choose by having our minds sharpened, and guided by our spirits, His Spirit.
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Ed Hurst
01 October 2002
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